\n
When people get upset, they often blame the other person. “They made me mad. They ruined my day. They\u2019re so annoying<\/em>.”<\/p>\n Of course, that has never happened to you.<\/p>\n Or has it?<\/em><\/p>\n Remember this, during the purging called Lent:<\/p>\n Nobody can actually make you upset.<\/span> Not your difficult neighbor, not a friend, not even that one relative everyone has.<\/p>\n Think about it: Two people can experience the exact same situation and have completely different reactions. One person gets road rage. Another just shrugs it off. Same situation, totally different emotions.\u00a0The difference?<\/p>\n The Bible actually explains this in a way with which modern psychology is only now catching up. Once you understand this principle, you are empowered.<\/p>\n But first: look at what most people get wrong about dealing with difficult people.<\/p>\n Most people think there are only two ways to handle them: either you fight back and make them respect you, or you become a doormat and let them walk all over you.<\/p>\n Scripture reveals a third way<\/span>\u2014completely different\u2014and it\u2019s not what you\u2019d expect.<\/p>\n In Proverbs<\/em> it says: \u201cA person\u2019s wisdom yields patience. It is to one\u2019s glory to overlook an offense.\u201d<\/p>\n At first glance, it sounds like typical religious advice about being nice. But there\u2019s something deeper here. The Bible doesn\u2019t just say, \u201cBe nice to people.\u201d It reveals the mechanism behind why we get upset in the first place.<\/p>\n When someone offends us<\/span>, we\u2019re not actually reacting to them. We\u2019re reacting to our own thoughts about what they did. In a way, the offense happens in our mind, not in reality.<\/p>\n Jesus explained this when He said it\u2019s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you, but what comes out of it (Mark<\/em> 7:15). He was pointing to something bigger than food. He was showing that our internal reaction creates our experience more than external events do.<\/p>\n The Bible gives us a specific strategy for dealing with difficult people, and it’s a great thing to learn to do and practice during these Forty Days: bless your enemies.<\/p>\n That isn\u2019t being a pushover; it\u2019s taking control.<\/em><\/p>\n When someone cuts you off in traffic,<\/span> instead of cursing them, bless them. Hope they get home safely to their family.<\/p>\n When your boss is being difficult, instead of planning revenge, and grousing about it, genuinely hope good things happen to him or her.<\/p>\n It sounds crazy: Why would anyone bless someone who\u2019s making life harder?<\/p>\n Answer: because of what it does inside you.<\/span><\/p>\n Modern neuroscience has discovered that when you get angry, your brain releases stress hormones. Your body goes into fight-or-flight mode. You are literally poisoning yourself with your own thoughts. This goes along with the Bible.<\/p>\n But when you genuinely wish someone well, even someone who hurt you, your brain releases different chemicals<\/em> associated with peace and well-being.<\/p>\n So the Bible wasn\u2019t only giving moral advice;<\/span> it was giving a life-saving strategy that protects your mind, your body, and your spirit.<\/p>\n Jesus said to love your enemies<\/em> and pray for those who persecute you. It isn\u2019t just about them (and the admonishment to love others as yourself); it\u2019s also about protecting your own peace.<\/p>\n When someone is rude to you, you have a choice. You can carry their negativity around with you all day, letting it poison your mood, your relationships, your sleep\u2014or you can refuse to let their problems become your problems.<\/p>\n Jesus demonstrated this perfectly.<\/span> When people mocked Him, betrayed Him, even crucified Him, His response was: \u201cFather, forgive them, for they don\u2019t know what they\u2019re doing.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n That wasn\u2019t weakness but wisdom. He refused to let other people\u2019s darkness dim His light.<\/em><\/p>\n So how do you actually do this in real life? How do you flip that mental switch when someone is pushing every button you have?<\/p>\n The next time someone does something<\/span> that would normally set you off, pause and remember: that person\u2019s behavior says nothing about you and everything about what they\u2019re going through. Hurt people hurt people.<\/p>\n Then choose your response. Ask yourself: do I want to carry their pain, or do I want to stay in my peace?<\/p>\n Next, as stated, bless them silently. Hope they find peace. Hope they heal from whatever is causing them to act this way.<\/p>\n People who practice this don\u2019t stop getting upset because difficult people disappear\u2014because troublemakers don\u2019t<\/em> disappear. They stop getting upset because they become unshakable.<\/p>\n The Bible calls it the peace<\/span> that surpasses understanding. And now we see why. When you stop letting other people\u2019s chaos control your emotions, you experience a calm that doesn\u2019t even make logical sense.<\/p>\n You become like a mountain. Storms can hit you, but you remain unmoved.<\/p>\n Here\u2019s the beautiful irony: when you stop reacting to difficult people, they often start treating you better. Your calm changes the entire dynamic, the entire atmosphere.<\/p>\n Even if they don\u2019t change, you win\u2014because your peace is no longer dependent on other people\u2019s behavior.<\/p>\n Jesus said, \u201cIn this world you will have trouble, but take heart. I have overcome the world.\u201d <\/em>(John 16:33). You don\u2019t overcome the world by fighting every battle.<\/p>\n You overcome it by refusing to let the world\u2019s chaos overcome you.<\/p>\n Try this for the rest of Lent. Forgive everyone ever this Good Friday. Rise with Easter.<\/p>\n The next time someone tries to push your buttons, remember: they can\u2019t actually push anything unless you give them the remote control.<\/p>\n Keep the remote. Choose your peace. And watch how your life change when you become “unoffendable” by simply taking Jesus’ advice.<\/p>\n \n When people get upset, they often blame the other person. “They made me mad. They ruined my day. They\u2019re so.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-80940","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-news","7":"entry"},"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritdaily.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80940","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritdaily.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritdaily.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritdaily.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritdaily.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=80940"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/spiritdaily.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/80940\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/spiritdaily.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=80940"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritdaily.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=80940"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/spiritdaily.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=80940"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}