One of the most searing worries of life is that we will lose a loved one through death and that will be The End -- that we will no longer have him or her, that we will never see relatives again.

All of us have this dread, or have had it. Yet many are those who report experiences indicating that deceased loved ones are around us even here on earth and that when we die, they are among the first to greet us.

Such come from near-death experiences, Marian apparitions, and the experiences of average folks.

In case after case, those who have been clinically dead describe close relatives as approaching them at the end of a tunnel or appearing in a burst of light (often with Christ), while those dying in hospitals frequently describe visions of friends and relatives there to help them make the transition. Nurses and hospice workers relate many such experiences.

Meantime, there are countless events indicating that the deceased are allowed to send us help and signs on occasion. It is believed that God allows this as a special favor for who have implored the Almighty long enough, have been favored through their holiness, or simply are in need of consolation.

Such signs can take many forms and are usually so subtle as to impress the living as something they will always cherish but as not to offer actual scientific proof (God always makes sure there is room left for faith).

The death of a father on one's birthday, which also happened to be Easter, and which happened to a man we know, is an example of a confluence that seems to bear a message.

Often, the deceased influence the course of our lives. One man who wrote says his deceased grandmother caused him to become a priest!

"[My daughter] Tiffany Maria Elliott died of cancer May 23, 2006, at 27, leaving two children," writes mother Patti, whose daughter had a vision of Jesus and roses as she was approaching the end of her life. "There have been little miracles happening like the smell of roses in my home. My husband and I smoke, so our home sure doesn't smell rosy, but we've smelled that sweet fragrance of roses a few times since her death. I feel her presence so much, and when I cry, I hear her tell me, 'Don't cry mom.' Last night I was at the computer and started typing out of nowhere, 'I'm Happy Now Mommy and I Love You.' I feel this came from her -- that Jesus allowed her to let me know she's happy."

These accounts are so frequent that rare is the family without one.

"I am a coronary critical care nurse and have been for 24 years," writes Kay Jaworski of Baltimore. "One of the most interesting things that I witnessed happened to a patient of mine about a year ago. 

"He was a 64 year old man, I'll call him 'Walter,' who had suffered a very large heart attack that left him with very little viable heart muscle and a grim prognosis due to his long list of other health problems. 

"After doing all we could medically, the family decided that the best thing to do was to put him in God's hands, and if God wanted to call him home, then so be it. He slowly slipped into a coma and one night, the family resigned to the inevitable, said their good-bye's and went home for the evening.  

"I continued to take care of him and had recently turned him onto his side, positioned him into a comfortable position facing the nurses station, and went into another room to care for another patient. 

"About 25 minutes had lapsed when I walked by, looked in his room, and saw that his eyes were open. 

"I thought it was intermittent reflex activity, so I went into the room,  and when I did, his eyes followed me! 

"Stunned, I walked up to his bedside and asked him how he was feeling.  In a weakened voice, he asked where his wife and two children were. I told him they had gone home for the evening. He asked me to phone them because he needed to see them right away. I got on the phone and called his wife and asked her to come back to the hospital and bring their son and daughter with her. 

"Ten minutes later, a frantic, out of breath woman walked into the unit and I walked her over to Walter's bedside. 

"When the son and daughter arrived a few minutes later, Walter asked me to pull the curtain, but to stay in the room with him. I closed the curtain when he looked at his daughter and motioned her to come up next to him. He told her how proud he was of her and what a wonderful woman she had grown in to. He told her that he loved her and to never forget to always be not only a good wife and mother, but a good daughter to his wife. He reminded her to always remember to pray and to put God first. 

"Then he called his son over, and followed with a similar litany of praise and love.  Then he looked at his wife and reached for her hand. He thanked her for being a wonderful wife and told her that he loved her more every year that they had been married, and never did he think that he could have loved someone as much as he did her.  'But,' he continued, 'Mother and father are waiting for me, and they have told me that my time has come to join them. God has allowed me to see you once again, and to tell you good-bye.'

"To say the least, there wasn't a dry eye in the room and he begged them not to cry because he was going 'home.' He assured them that he would see them all again and that he would be waiting and praying for them every day. 

"After about thirty minutes, he slipped back into a coma, and after another hour, he died."

7/19/06