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CLINGING TO OTHERS AND TRYING TO CONTROL PEOPLE TAKES US AWAY FROM THE BALANCE OF GOD

Did you ever grab on something, even if it's just a small piece of furniture, or the tip of a little branch, or just touch a wall, when you had to stand on one foot (perhaps to take off a shoe; or walking on ice!)? You needed something just to stabilize you, to keep your balance. Just a little support was necessary to give you a sense of how to stand -- a sense of where and how you stood -- a sense of where you were.

The same is true in our emotional lives.

We often reach out to others when we're a bit unsure, when we're not "surefooted," when we've lost our balance.

That's fine. That's what we're here for. At times, we lean on one another. Sometimes it's just something (or someone) to touch. We need an orientation. It helps us find our way in the dark.

The problem comes when we grasp, when we get a bit desperate (and especially when we won't let go).

There are times when we cling.

Therein is the problem: When we cling to and depend too much on other people for balance and emotional security there's something we need to change in our spirits. Balance is needed. Prayer brings this. Jesus is all we need to seek always.

It's great to "reach out and touch someone." It's not great to reach out and cling. This is called "over-attachment" and Christ Himself taught us not to become overly attached to things or "creatures" of this world.

He had great love but also total freedom of spirit. (He was not even overly attached to His mother.)

Let God "prune" you. Let Him prune you of wrong relationships. Let Him prune you of clinging to habits, addictions, security blankets, social standing, and fruitless routines. Let Him prune those branches we reach for too often. Get a grip on yourself, not others.

A while back a priest was speaking about how when he was a young man praying back in Poland, as he walked through a park, he had a little revelation. He saw a couple walking as close as they could to each other, tightly holding hands, almost knitted together, clinging, with their kids right next to them. Then he saw a second family. This one was the opposite. There was space between them and their kids were well ahead, at a different pace, walking freely and on their own. It was given to him to know that the holy couple was not the one grasping each other so tightly but the second family. They each felt secure. The kids were not afraid to make their own way.

Neither are we when we have our feet planted in the Word and our eyes directed toward Jesus.

The Cross is what gives us support (at tense times, at times when we need balance, the crossbars are like the pole of a tightrope walker).

Love much, help very much, extend the helping hand -- but develop self-assurance in Him alone.

Do not confuse over-attachment, nor obsession, nor possessiveness with love. In the end, we all face the Lord as individuals (alone).

Never grasp. Never hold onto others in a way that is excessive. Never hold onto others in a way that infringes on their freedom. It's the old adage of the butterfly: release it and if it wants to return, it will. That is true love.

Clipping wings, keeping others confined, controlling aren't the answer. Nor is letting others control us (through our insecurity). The spirit of control is as witchcraft.

Do you cling too much to relatives or co-workers or friends? Do you cling to your possessions? Do you cling to things of this passing world?

In the afterlife, such clinging can lead to a state that is earthbound.

If so, ask yourself "why" (in prayer).

It's a lesson for all of us in an age of insecurity, imbalance, and possessiveness. Abide in Him. With confidence, walk the path He sets before you.