When most people get upset, they blame the other person. “They made me mad. They ruined my day. They’re so annoying.”
Of course, that has never happened to you—or has it?
Here’s the thing that may “blow your mind”:
Nobody can actually make you upset. Not your difficult neighbor, not a friend, not even that one relative everyone has.
Think about it: Two people can experience the exact same situation and have completely different reactions. One person gets road rage. Another just shrugs it off. Same situation, totally different emotions.
The difference?
The Bible actually explains this in a way that modern psychology is only now catching up to. And once you understand this principle, it’s like having super power.
But first, look at what most people get wrong about dealing with difficult people. Most people think there are only two ways to handle them: either you fight back and make them respect you, or you become a doormat and let them walk all over you.
Scripture reveals a third way—completely different—and it’s not what you’d expect.
In Proverbs it says: “A person’s wisdom yields patience. It is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”
At first glance, it sounds like typical religious advice about being nice. But there’s something deeper here. The Bible doesn’t just say, “Be nice to people.” It reveals the mechanism behind why we get upset in the first place.
When someone offends us, we’re not actually reacting to them. We’re reacting to our own thoughts about what they did. In a way, the offense happens in our mind, not in reality.
Jesus explained this when He said it’s not what goes into your mouth that defiles you, but what comes out of it (Mark 7:15). He was pointing to something bigger than food. He was showing that our internal reaction creates our experience more than external events do.
The Bible gives us a specific strategy for dealing with difficult people, and it’s a great thing to learn to do and practice during Lent: bless your enemies.
That isn’t being a pushover; it’s taking control.
When someone cuts you off in traffic, instead of cursing them, bless them. Hope they get home safely to their family.
When your boss is being difficult, instead of planning revenge, and grousing about it, genuinely hope good things happen to him or her.
It sounds crazy: Why would anyone bless someone who’s making life harder?
Because of what it does inside you.
Modern neuroscience has discovered that when you get angry, your brain releases stress hormones. Your body goes into fight-or-flight mode. You are literally poisoning yourself with your own thoughts. This goes along with the Bible.
But when you genuinely wish someone well, even someone who hurt you, your brain releases different chemicals associated with peace and well-being.
So the Bible wasn’t only giving moral advice. It was giving a life-saving strategy that protects your mind, your body, and your spirit.
Jesus said to love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. This isn’t about them. It’s about protecting your own peace.
When someone is rude to you, you have a choice. You can carry their negativity around with you all day, letting it poison your mood, your relationships, your sleep—or you can refuse to let their problems become your problems.
Jesus demonstrated this perfectly. When people mocked Him, betrayed Him, even crucified Him, His response was: “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they’re doing.”
That wasn’t weakness but wisdom. He refused to let other people’s darkness dim His light.
So how do you actually do this in real life? How do you flip that mental switch when someone is pushing every button you have?
The next time someone does something that would normally set you off, pause and remember: that person’s behavior says nothing about you and everything about what they’re going through. Hurt people hurt people.
Then choose your response. Ask yourself: do I want to carry their pain, or do I want to stay in my peace?
Then bless them silently. Hope they find peace. Hope they heal from whatever is causing them to act this way.
People who practice this don’t stop getting upset because difficult people disappear, because troublemakers don’t disappear. They stop getting upset because they become unshakable.
The Bible calls it the peace that surpasses understanding. And now we see why. When you stop letting other people’s chaos control your emotions, you experience a calm that doesn’t even make logical sense.
You become like a mountain. Storms can hit you, but you remain unmoved.
Here’s the beautiful irony: when you stop reacting to difficult people, they often start treating you better. Your calm changes the entire dynamic, the entire atmosphere.
Even if they don’t change, you still win—because your peace is no longer dependent on other people’s behavior.
Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble, but take heart. I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33). You don’t overcome the world by fighting every battle.
You overcome it by refusing to let the world’s chaos overcome you.
Try this for the rest of Lent. Forgives this Good Friday. Rise with Easter.
The next time someone tries to push your buttons, remember: they can’t actually push anything unless you give them the remote control.
Keep the remote. Choose your peace. And watch how your life changes when you become “unoffendable” by simply taking Jesus’ advice.