What you thought that becoming a dad would be – playing catch, reading bedtime stories, tea parties, watching the children grow up.  What it actually is– turning lights off in empty rooms. For me, this is no joke. Most of my parenting consists in flipping light switches. For some reason, the kids are adamantly opposed to this simple physical operation of moving a switch from “on” to “off.” I’ve tried everything. I’ve reasoned with them, threatened, guilt-tripped. I’ve asked if their arms, hands, and fingers work and if I need to take them to a doctor. I’ve explained that “Daddy has to pay for the lights you leave on,” and I’ve sarcastically had them watch while I showed them how to flip a switch (sarcasm, I can say from experience, is a terrible parenting technique). I’ve thought about cutting the electricity. For whatever reason, year after year, I just couldn’t let it go. I would actually get angry. Really and truly mad. Why won’t they listen to me, I wondered.